How To Reclaim Your Sexual Identity After Trauma | Sex, Consent & Healing With Matthew Riven

In this episode, Michael Unbroken sits down with kink and sexuality expert Matthew Riven to unpack how BDSM, kink, and conscious sexuality can become powerful tools for healing childhood trauma, religious shame, and sexual guilt. You will learn how consent, boundaries, and agency in the bedroom can help you reclaim your body, rebuild self‑trust, and create safer, more authentic relationships as an adult survivor.

We explore the difference between sex, sexuality, and kink, why your “taboo” desires are often wired to your nervous system, and how bringing them above the table with communication can be deeply healing instead of destructive. Matthew shares how conscious kink, structure, and negotiation give trauma survivors a safe container to be seen, ask for what they want, and slowly release the shame they were taught as kids.

If you grew up with sexual abuse, purity culture, or a home where sex was never talked about, this conversation will help you understand why you struggle with intimacy, trust, and desire – and what to do about it. We talk PTSD, body agency, consent regret, and how to move from people‑pleasing and dissociation into grounded, empowered choice in your relationships and sex life.

Timestamps:

• 00:00 Why kink and sexuality matter for trauma healing

• 06:00 Michael’s story: childhood sexual abuse, Mormonism, and confusion about sex

• 16:00 What kink really is (and why shame makes it feel “wrong”)

• 19:00 How BDSM rules, structure, and consent create safety

• 01:08:00 “Fuck yes, yes, maybe, no, fuck no” – understanding consent and boundaries

Audio Only:

Links:

Podcast: Think Unbroken Podcast