Desire Without Shame: Understanding the Parts of You That Want, Need & Crave with Matthew Riven

A podcast with Find Joy with Joyan and Joyan Chan

My conversation with Joyan went straight into the heart of desire—what we openly want, what we’ve been conditioned to silence, and the parts of ourselves we perform because we think we’re supposed to. Joyan was engaging and probing in all the right ways, creating a conversation that was both fun and deeply insightful. Together, we explored how childhood patterns shape our adult longings and the emotional contracts that quietly steer our relationships, our leadership, and how we express who we are.

We explored these dynamics through the lenses I use in my work: Transactional Analysis, re-decision therapy, somatic awareness, and power dynamics. We unpacked the difference between healthy, performative, and suppressed desire, and how k!nk and consent—when practiced intentionally—reveal powerful truths about communication, boundaries, and the ways we navigate power in everyday life.

If you're ready to understand and articulate what you want without shame—and finally break the scripts that have kept you small—this episode offers a grounded, compassionate, and courage-filled place to begin.

Audio Only:

Links:

Podcast: Find Joy with Joyan